| Lord of the... House? |
[Sep. 28th, 2005|03:58 pm] |
Why does Tom Delay look like Bilbo Baggins in this picture?
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| Hobos and Prairie Dogs |
[Sep. 27th, 2005|05:12 pm] |
(17:08:55) Shannon: i keep telling everyone about those shirts you got for lizzie
(17:09:28) Me: Haha
(17:09:30) Me: Even hobos?
(17:09:40) Shannon: especially hobos
(17:09:42) Shannon: i want them to be jealous
(17:09:51) Me: Like you run up and say, "Hey hobo, I gotta tell you about these shirts my bro got for my sister!"
(17:09:57) Me: And he goes, "I could use a shirt"
(17:10:10) Me: And you say, "Shut up, stinky, I'm telling a story!"
(17:10:23) Shannon: that was my conversation last night!
(17:10:25) Shannon: holy crap.
(17:10:27) Shannon: you're good.
(17:10:41) Me: What can I say? When I have to take a shit, I divinate like a motherfucker.
(17:10:51) Shannon: hahahaha
(17:10:52) Shannon: that's disgusting
(17:11:06) Me: OH GOD! I'M PRAIRIE DOGGIN'! |
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| Excuse me mam, there seems to be a bit of a discrepancy on my bill... |
[Sep. 23rd, 2005|08:01 pm] |
(08:20:05) Amy: ha ha
(08:20:26) Amy: that's what you think
(08:20:32) Amy: oh want to hear something funny
(08:21:00) Amy: the lady that keeps our dogs or use to keep them
(08:21:21) Amy: well her husband of I guess maybe a year
(08:21:25) Amy: is in jail
(08:21:42) Amy: well I heard he was jumped by a hitchhiker
(08:21:54) Amy: but when JOhn checked with one of his LTs
(08:22:03) Amy: he said that the guy his name is Chris
(08:22:10) Amy: picked up a prostitute
(08:22:24) Amy: and didn't feel like he got his $ worth so he stabbed her
(08:22:28) Amy: lol
(08:26:15) Patrick: Hahaha |
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| My Free T-Shirt |
[Sep. 22nd, 2005|09:21 pm] |
(21:18:40) Patrick: Hey check this out
(21:18:50) Patrick: I sent this to T-shirthell.com with my order so I can get a free t-shirt
(21:18:57) Patrick: "I heard of it [your website] from a friend, named Sarah who lives in Lubbock, TX (specific enough?) who purchased your 'Asthma is Sexy' t-shirt. I have asthma and she did not have sex with me. She didn't even blow me. You owe me one free t-shirt you sons of bitches. Thank you."
(21:19:17) Sarah: hahaha
(21:19:34) Sarah: very nice.
(21:19:39) Patrick: Thanks
(21:19:40) Sarah: let me know if it works
(21:19:53) Patrick: If it works, hell I'll stop blowing people.
(21:20:41) Sarah: hahaha |
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| My Wit is Quite Rapier |
[Sep. 19th, 2005|05:17 pm] |
Patrick: Well you should lay it on heavy and see how she reacts. Not exactly ask her out, but lay down your wit and see what she does. Just be like, "I'd lick that ass, bitch."
Ian: My wit?
Patrick: Yeah something witty like what I said
Ian: Haha. |
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| Engrish! |
[Sep. 19th, 2005|04:28 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  chipper | ] |
(16:21:15) Patrick: WASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSUPPPP
(16:21:17) Shannon: what up?
(16:21:21) Shannon: LEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEROOOOOY!
(16:21:25) Shannon: JEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEENKINS!!!!!!!!!!
(16:24:10) Shannon: i'm pretending to write my english paper
(16:24:16) Shannon: which means that i don't even have the word doc open
(16:24:17) Patrick: Hahaha
(16:24:21) Patrick: What's your paper about
(16:24:35) Shannon: ugh. consoling the victims of hurrican katrina.
(16:24:36) Shannon: GAG
(16:24:50) Patrick: Dude
(16:24:51) Patrick: DUDE
(16:25:01) Patrick: You could so do a cynical, fucking piece
(16:25:05) Patrick: That'd be badass
(16:25:23) Patrick: To The People Of New Orleans: Congratulations on showing the world you are nothing better than pathetic, self-serving manimals.
(16:25:29) Shannon: hahaha
(16:25:30) Shannon: i wish
(16:25:34) Patrick: Man-imals!
(16:25:35) Shannon: but i kind of want to pass
(16:25:39) Shannon: lol yes i saw that
(16:25:51) Patrick: And you should throw the word nigger around a lot. It'll show that you're intelligent.
(16:26:56) Shannon: oh yea
(16:26:57) Shannon: i think i will
(16:26:59) Shannon: thanks patrick!
(16:27:28) Patrick: You're welcome sister. And remember... White pride, world wide... Hoo-ah!
(16:27:59) Shannon: yay! white pride!
(16:29:24) Patrick: Kind of like Irish pride, but with less drinking and more unyielding, meritless hatred
(16:29:47) Shannon: that's the best kind
-----
(16:41:22) Shannon: i already start out with, "i have no idea what you people are feeling right now, and i'm not going to pretend to."
(16:41:31) Patrick: You fucks... You nigger fucks.
(16:41:38) Patrick: Go on say it. It'll make you feel like a man
(16:41:49) Shannon: lol
(16:41:54) Shannon: alright, i'll edit it in
(16:42:06) Shannon: our teacher said we can swear and such, as long as it is tasteful and applicable
(16:48:27) Shannon: alright i'm out
(16:48:28) Shannon: nigga!
(16:51:38) Shannon logged out. |
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| My discussions on the Poop Nazi... |
[Sep. 14th, 2005|03:27 pm] |
(11:53:13) Jennifer: the boys room is probably cleaner than the girls here anyway
(11:54:02) Me: hard to believe with the mess Herr Commandant Poop Nazi makes
(11:54:25) Jennifer: yuck
(11:54:37) Jennifer: I try to put that story out of my mind
(11:54:51) Me: Just imagine a wind turbine in a chocolate syrup factory
(11:55:31) Jennifer: gag
(11:55:44) Jennifer: I will never be hungry for chocolate again
(11:56:00) Me: No no... Chocolate syrup
(11:56:08) Me: He's not shitting candy bars here... Geez. Get a grip.
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(11:58:02) Sarah: so. . .oh! the guy is taking shits at work?!
(11:59:18) Me: Yeah... One day he used the first stall, stopped it up with his poop, then he went to the next stall, wiped, stopped it up with toilet paper, then he went to the next stall stopped it up with toilet paper and more poop
(11:59:34) Sarah: omg!!
(11:59:37) Me: Then went down 7 floors to the lobby, took a shit there
(11:59:43) Me: I followed his trail of destruction
(12:00:01) Me: And I got to the lobby to use their toilet to take a shit and he was in there emitting animalistic noises and odors
(12:00:33) Sarah: ugh.
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(11:59:47) Cody: the devil speaks to me when i shit. echoing burps of sin. i'm groaning to believe crappers are like some satanic portal. oh, and your going to hell. my ass never lies...
(12:00:04) Me: … |
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| Sweet giver of life... |
[Sep. 7th, 2005|08:03 pm] |
Naproxen Sodium
Therapeutic Class: Non-steroidal Anti-inflammatory (pain reliever/fever reducer)
Temporarily reduces aches and pains due to:
(a) minor pain of arthritis, (b) common cold, (c) headache, (d) toothache, (e) muscular ache, (f) backache, and (g) menstrual cramps
Side effects may include:
(a) hives, (b) facial swelling, (c) asthma or weezing, and (d) shock
...
Shock... As in bodily collapse or near collapse caused by inadequate oxygen delivery to the cells often characterized by reduced cardiac output and rapid heartbeat and circulatory insufficiency and pallor.
S H O C K
Poor, faggoty Kevin. |
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| So who wants to know what really happened? |
[Sep. 7th, 2005|07:23 pm] |
So here's the deal the real scoop on New Orleans...
I know everyone enjoys blaming Bush for the mishap, but gosh darn it, he's just not to blame this time. Maybe the next time they stub their toe or forget to tie their shoelace, they can write him a nasty letter, but he's off the hook this time.
There are several factors that led to the fuck-up in N.O.
I. Corruption
As in all levels of politics there was corruption, but on a mass scale. Much of the money supposed to be spent on shoring up N.O. against floods was diverted to... GAMBLING... That's right gambling.
II. Slow Response
Governor Blanco had 6,500 NG troops under her command, yet only a small percentage responded to N.O. after the disaster. In fact, a Canadian fire and police task force reached the city before a majority of Louisiana's troops did. Hrmm... Strange. In addition, there were over 100 school buses that could have been used to evacuate people from the city instead of putting them in the superdome... These were later rendered useless when the levy broke.
III. Variance
There were several conflicting decisions made by local and regional leaders. The first and foremost was that Mayor Nagin kept screaming for aid, but Governor Blanco refused to allow the federal authorities to coordinate and take over the rescue efforts. She wanted to keep it in-house so to speak.
In this great nation we have a system known as federalism... That means that power is divided among the states and the federal government and that the states are sovereign. That's why President Bush, FEMA, the Department of Homeland Security, and other federal agencies could not get in to the state... They had to be asked, they could not take it upon themselves to enter without violating the sovereignty of the state of Louisiana. I refer to this as red-tape.
Recently the mayor has ordered that police begin forcefully evacuating residents who are refusing to leave from their homes. The governor, however, will not sign off on this order. So police are under direct orders to enforce this edict, while state and federal agencies are not... *claps*
Legally speaking, law enforcement cannot force people from their homes. I'm not saying it is right or wrong to force them to evacuate, I'm just saying it isn't legal. Hell I don't care if they stay. But if they come whining for aid or impede reconstruction they should be beaten and exiled.
There's more information to come, I'm sure. Once this gets dragged out, I'm sure Mayor Nagin will lose his job... Who are we kidding, though right? He'll put the race card right out of those dirty pockets of his... You know now why he was screaming for aid? He was diverting attention from his own criminalistic behavior. The man is shit. |
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| (no subject) |
[Sep. 5th, 2005|01:13 pm] |
Patrick: Where you goin to eat at?
Ian: Jack, probably.
Patrick: Coo. I'm gonna try to save some money and munch on some spaghetti
Ian: Heh. Save money.
Patrick: Yeah lol
Ian: A concept as foreign to me as the people who are about to serve me my food.
Patrick: Hahaha |
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| Kanye West... Fuck off, asswipe... |
[Sep. 4th, 2005|06:47 pm] |
Kanye West is another dumb motherfucker who deserves nothing more than a swift kick in his balls.
He said America is set up "to help the poor, the black people, the less well-off as slow as possible," obviously referring to the delay in the National Guard response.
So, Mr. Chip On Your Shoulder, do you think if the majority of the victims were white the NG could mobilize any faster?
They're reservists for God's Sake. They have to be activated, then arrive at their base, be briefed, receive equipment and vehicles, and move in.
You think that can happen quick?
That's why Bush active 7,000 ACTIVE troops.
Dipshit.
http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,168387,00.html |
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